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PostPosted: Sun 15 Dec 2013 2:39 am 
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I am wondering whether I can Munsterise the Hobbit.

The existing translation has in paragraph one:

Quote:
I bpoll sa talamh a bhí cónaí ar hobad. Níor pholl gránna, salach, fliuch é, lán le péisteanna stróichthe agus le boladh láibe. Níor pholl tirim, lom, gainmheach a bhí ann ach an oiread, gan aon rud ann le n-ithe ná suí síos air; poll hobaid ab ea é agus is ionann sin agus compord.


This has some problems:

1. There is no Irish word "hobad". I support using loan words in italics.
2. The first sentence feels non-idiomatic. Irish defines what you're talking about and then comment on it (tá daoine ann, agus is dóigh leó go..., or is é is dóigh leó ná go - instead of is dóigh le daoine go....)
3. Lán le? Does this exist in Irish?
4. How common a word is stróichthe?
5. Le n-ithe ná suí síos air - doesn't "le" need to be repeated? Without repeating "le" it feels as if the "air" applies to "ithe" too. Le n-ithe air?

What do people think of this for a Munster attempt?

Quote:
Do bhí hobbit ann, agus i bpoll sa talamh ’ bhí cónaí air. Níor [rud] gránna, s’lach, fliuch an poll san, [áfaigh], lán de ghiotaíbh de phiastaíbh, agus [lán de] bhalaithe láibe. Ní lú ná ’ bhí sé t’rim, lom, gainmheach, gan ao’ rud ann le n-ithe ná le suí síos air. Poll hobbit dob ea é, agus is ionann san agus cúmpórd.


What is the idiomatic Connacht version? and the idiomatic Ulster version?


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PostPosted: Sun 15 Dec 2013 11:11 am 
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I'm changing the last bit from "agus is ionann san agus cúmpórd" to "agus mar sin ana-chúmpórd ann". I think it is possible to get this text into better Irish.

My version now:

Quote:
Do bhí hobbit ann, agus i bpoll sa talamh ’ bhí cónaí air. Níor rud gránna, s’lach, fliuch an poll san, áfaigh, lán de ghiotaíbh de phiastaíbh, agus lán de bhalaithe láibe. Ní lú ná ’ bhí sé t’rim, lom, gainmheach, gan ao’ rud ann le n-ithe ná le suí síos air. Poll hobbit dob ea é, agus mar sin bhí ana-chúmpórd ann.


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PostPosted: Sun 15 Dec 2013 12:10 pm 
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The next bit in the existing translation is:

Quote:
Bhí an doras cruinn ciorclach ar nós sleaspholl loinge, péint uaine air, agus murlán buí práis ina cheartlár. D'osclaíodh an doras isteach ar halla sorcóireach ar gheall le tollán é, tollán fíorchompordach gan deatach ar bith ann. Painéil adhmaid a bhí ar na ballaí, leacáin agus caipéad ar an urlár agus bhí cathaoireacha ann mar aon le mórán crúcaí i gcomhair hataí agus cótaí -- thaitníodh cuairteoirí go mór leis an hobad.


The main problem here is the incorrect use of the past habitual in d'osclaíodh and thaitníodh. The translator was an English learner, and for some reason liked the past habitual (French influence?)

I would suggest:

Quote:
Do bhí an doras róchruínn ar nós sleaspholl loinge, agus dath uaithne air, agus murlán buí práis ’na cheartlár. Do thug an doras isteach i halla thu, halla ar dhéanamh feadáin mar thollán, tollán fíorchúmpórdach gan deatach ar bith ann. Do bhí painéil adhmaid ar na fallaíbh, agus leacáin agus brat ar an úrlár. Agus do bhí cathaoireacha snasta ann, agus a lán bacán i gcómhair hataí agus casóga—mar do thaithn sé go mór leis an hobbit nuair do tánathas ar chuaird chuige.


I think it's fine to say "dath" and not "péint", as "uaithne" implies an unnatural green anyway. Doors don't "open themselves" in Irish - and so I said "the door took you into a hall". Sorchóireach - seemed to me to be an odd word - and so was junked. Brat - is fine for carpet without the anglophone word used. Snasta - no translation for "polished" was given in the existing translation, but I have given one. I also didn't like "thaitníodh cuairteoirí leis", as the meaning is "the hobbit liked receiving visitors" - not that he liked the visitors. It's the visits he liked. The existing translation seems confused on many points, and so I have changed that.


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PostPosted: Sun 15 Dec 2013 12:54 pm 
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look forward to reading the full version :)

What do other languages do for words such as Hobbit ?
Are many words borrowed and transformed in this way any more, rather than the English version being used with Irish grammar rules?

for example , mo shuitcase, mo bhicycle .

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PostPosted: Sun 15 Dec 2013 12:59 pm 
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Also: róchruínn means "perfectly round". It is not necessary to say cruinn ciorclach.


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PostPosted: Sun 15 Dec 2013 1:00 pm 
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Dáithí Mac Giolla. wrote:
look forward to reading the full version :)

What do other languages do for words such as Hobbit ?
Are many words borrowed and transformed in this way any more, rather than the English version being used with Irish grammar rules?

for example , mo shuitcase, mo bhicycle .


I don't know what other language versions have.

Dáithí, are my translations idiomatic? That was the real thing I was hoping to discuss in this thread.


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PostPosted: Sun 15 Dec 2013 1:23 pm 
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well to my limited knowledge it does seem more idiomatic. Bearing in mind Ive only really read2 books by bhab feirtéar .

I was wondering would Fé thalamh not express more the Hobbits home being physically under the ground?
As sa talamh can also mean in the land ? To me it doesn't necessarily express the important point of it being under the ground .
which the story then goes on to clarify it not being a dirty hole.

Im sure you're correct though, but hearing why will help me remember it:)

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PostPosted: Sun 15 Dec 2013 1:29 pm 
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also would clár not be a more suitable word than Painéil ?

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PostPosted: Sun 15 Dec 2013 1:43 pm 
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Dáithí Mac Giolla. wrote:
also would clár not be a more suitable word than Painéil ?


Poll sa talamh - is frequently found in literature.

Clár - possibly. But clár also means "table, shelf", and so I am reluctant to introduce it. But anyway, interested to see what others think too on this.


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PostPosted: Sun 15 Dec 2013 2:09 pm 
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Dáithí Mac Giolla. wrote:
What do other languages do for words such as Hobbit ?

Checking the "other languages" links from the Wikipedia article Hobbit" gives us the following (note that some of these are singular, some are plural):
Bosnian: hobiti
Catalan: hòbbit
Czech: hobit
Danish: hobbit
German: hobbit
Estonian: kääbikud
Spanish: hobbits
Esperanto: hobito
French: hobbit
etc etc
and the Swedish is "hober"

So most are directly from the English, even to the point of breaking their own spelling rules ("hobbits" is utterly impossible in natural Spanish).

But anyhow, why borrow from English a word that is really just an anglicised transcription of a non-English, fictional language? The function of the spelling in the book was to make the word readily pronounceable to the reader, nothing more, nothing less. (Although the same obviously cannot be said of Elvish, Orcish etc.)

Borrowing a native English word is all well and good, but borrowing English to use as a auxiliary phonetic spelling embedded in Irish seems silly.

The spelling "hobad", despite it's initial H, does work well, because it can take an immediately obvious genitive: taigh hobaid. Trying to inflect "hobbit" would be more tricky. Do you broaden the final vowel? That rule applies to a closed set of words, so it wouldn't be recognised. Besides, by using the English form, it's going to be pronounced as English with a broad T, so you can't broaden it phonetically anyway. Add E -- hobbite? Again, the English spelling is going to interfere here, and it's also going to make it look like a feminine word, which seems an unlikely gender for a species of person in the context of Gaelic's masculine-dominant grammar.

Or do you just leave the word in italics the whole time, using an English plural, and continue pushing the idea to young readers that Irish isn't a complete language...?

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