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 Post subject: Another short poem
PostPosted: Sat 24 Jan 2015 9:31 pm 
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Joined: Thu 01 Sep 2011 9:55 am
Posts: 2114
Location: 91 - France
I SEE A SONG

Ladies and Gentlemen!
Boys and Girls!

I see a song. I paint music. I hear colour.
I touch the rainbow and the deep spring in the ground.
My music talks. My colours dance.
Come, listen and let your imagination
see your own song.

FEICIM AMHRÁN

A Dhaoine Uaisle!
A Bhuachaillí A Chailíní

Feicim amhrán. Péinteálaim ceol. Cloisim dáth.
Teagmhaim leis an bogha báistí agus leis an fhoinse dhomhain sa talamh.
Labhraíonn mo cheol. Rinceann mo dháthanna.
Tagaigí, éistigí agus ligigí bhur tsamhlaíocht
bhur amhrán féin a fheiceáil.

I'm not at all sure about that last bit and again I'd be glad to have your suggestions.


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 Post subject: Re: Another short poem
PostPosted: Mon 26 Jan 2015 3:44 pm 
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Joined: Fri 09 Sep 2011 2:06 pm
Posts: 715
- The verb 'lig' takes the preposition 'do' before a noun/pronoun + verb, and you forgot to eclipse 'amhrán'. So: 'ligigí do bhur tsamhlaíocht bhur n-amhrán féin a fhéiceáil'.
- ' leis an bhogha báistí
- In the first line 'dáth' would mean 'a colour'. I think 'dáthanna' would be better.


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 Post subject: Re: Another short poem
PostPosted: Mon 26 Jan 2015 4:31 pm 
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Joined: Thu 01 Sep 2011 9:55 am
Posts: 2114
Location: 91 - France
Go raibh maith agat - merci bien.


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