Hello! First of all, I would like to thank all of the translators here for taking the time to help everyone out. I am a high school English teacher in Tennessee. I have one student who has been a particular inspiration this year. His name is Kevin and after a LOT of hard work he is going to graduate in May of this year. He became particularly interested in Irish culture after he discovered his ancestry in my class. He wrote a beautiful poem for his estranged son and my plan is to print and frame the English version and the Gaelic version side by side and present it to him at our graduation ceremony. It is a little lengthy, but if anyone has time, I would really appreciate help with this!

Thank you in advance!
Summer

The poem:

Unforgotten Oath

Out here all alone
and you're just wishing I’d come back home.
But I’m out here on my own
doing what needs to be done.
So this is my credo to you my one and only son.
It seems so hard with every yard that separates me from you.

I just pray its not too late,
your love is worth the wait
to bring me back to you.

So while I’m out here on the road
carrying this heavy load,
all I think about is you.

Who knows where we're going,
but I’ll go valiantly knowing
it will one day bring me back to you.

I love my little boy
and nothing can destroy
the bond we have together,
that’s why I hold my head high no matter the weather.
The storms of hell couldn't keep me from seeing you one sunny day.

No matter how far away
there’s a place in my heart you will always stay,
a place no one will ever take away.
No one else can ignite the fight inside my stride.

I love you and there’s nothing more I’d despise
than to see tears fill your eyes.
I know nothing can replace the years
but with you I have no fears.

Dreams of you and me give me strength to pull me through any storm.
There is no greater reason to move with the season.
Just know through the rain and snow
no one but you will ever know the source of my strength.

"Credo" doesn't really make sense in this context. It means "belief." Did he mean to say "pledge?"

It does make a difference...I'm not just nitpicking here. We can't do an accurate translation if the English doesn't make sense.

Redwolf

Shouldn't an English teacher know that?

Undertaking such a task is lengthy. If it is a literal translation of the poem that is needed, then I'm afraid rhyme will be difficult (to say the least) to retain.

This is diffinitely not poetic. But it will give people ideas to work with it.
Spelling need correction too.


mionn dearmaithe

Amuigh anseo liom féin
agus tú ag súil liom filleadh abhaile.
Ach tá mé amuigh anseo liom féin
ag déanamh na rudaí a theastaíonn.
Seo é mo “credo” dhuitse m’aon mhac.
Goilleann chuile throigh a scarann muid orm.

Is é mo ghuí nach bhfuil sé ró-mhall,
Is fiú fanacht le do ghrá dom,
le mé thabhairt ar ais go dtí thú.

Is mé ag taisteal,
le croí íseal,
níl ar m’intinn ach thú.

Ag Dia [God] amháin a tá ‘fhíos an bealach romhainn,
ach siúlfaidh mé go cróga é,
mar lá éicint tabharfaidh sé le cheile muid.

Tá grá agam do mo bhuachaillín,
ní féidir le tada an ceangal idir muid a bhriseadh.
Coinníonn mé mo chloigeann in airde trí chuile chineáil aimsir.
Níl stoirm ifrinn in ann muid a stopadh castáil lena chéile lá deas éicint.

Is cuma cé chomh fada i gcéin
fánóidh tú mo chroí,
ní thóigfidh aon duine d’áit,
No one else can ignite the fight inside my stride. ???

Tá grá agam duit. Bhiseoidh sé mo chroí tú a fheiceáil ag gol,
Tá na blianta caite, ní féidir iad a fháil ar ais,
ach i do chuideachta-sa ní bheidh eagla orm.

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It is recommended that you always wait for three to agree on a translation.
I speak Connemara Irish, and my input will often reflect that.
I will do an mp3 file on request for short translations.
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Good on you, Bríd for jumping in and having a go. Some suggestions:

Without making a big fuss over it - after all nobody's English usage is ever absolutely perfect - mo “credo” could just be mo ghealltanas. (A credo is not just a "belief" but a "A creed, a set of opinions or principles." (SOED))

Although it is "unforgotten oath" perhaps mionn dodhearmadta "unforgettable oath" might work better in Irish.

Instead of Ag Dia [God] amháin a tá ‘fhíos ..., perhaps just Níl a fhios ...

Coinníonn mé, perhaps Coinním ?

fánóidh tú mo chroí, , perhaps Fanfaidh tú i mo chroí "You will stay in my heart" ?

"fight" inside my stride might be meant to be "fire" ?

Bhiseoidh sé, perhaps Bhrisfeadh sé ?

And one more verse to do?

Await further input ...

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Múinteoir Gaeilge - Irish Teacher
My "specialty" is Connemara Irish, particularly Cois Fhairrge dialect, but I can also speak Ulster and Munster Irish with native-level pronunciation.
Is fearr Gaeilge ḃriste ná Béarla cliste, cinnte, aċ i ḃfad níos fearr aríst í Gaeilge ḃinn ḃeo na nGaeltaċtaí.
Gaeilge Chonnacht (GC), go háraid Gaeilge Chois Fhairrge (GCF), Gaeilic Uladh (GU), Gaelainn na Mumhan (GM), agus Gaeilge an Chaighdeáin Oifigiúil (CO).

Yes I'd go with all of the suggestions and spelling corrections that Breandán did.



Opps. When I copied and pasted the text I missed out on the last verse.

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It is recommended that you always wait for three to agree on a translation.
I speak Connemara Irish, and my input will often reflect that.
I will do an mp3 file on request for short translations.
___________________________________________________________

Nice one, a Bhríd

One might hope!

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/credo

One can have a personal "credo," but one can't have a "credo" to or for someone. I'm assuming "pledge" or "promise" was what was intended.

Redwolf

It's not a matter of "perfect" or "not perfect"...the word just doesn't apply. You can have a "credo," but not one "to or for" someone.

That said, I think "gealltanas" is great, assuming "pledge" or "promise" is what was really intended (which is the sense I'm getting from the rest of the poem). But I'm not sure I would translate it as that without being 100% certain of the intent, which is why I questioned it.