Toirneach wrote:
Hello!

I've been on the hunt for a modern Irish translation of the full Deer's Cry/St. Patrick's Breastplate prayer. I ran across a thread on ILF (
viewtopic.php?f=28&t=5267) that contains a post with the full text, but I had a question about one section of it and my grasp of Irish grammar isn't advanced enough for me to find the answer myself.
The section in question:
Éirím inniú,
Neart Dé dom' stiúradh,
Cumhacht Dé dom' chumhdach,
Críonnacht Dé dom' threorú'
Súil Dé ag faire dom,
Cluas Dé ag éisteacht liom,
Briathar Dé ag labhairt liom,
Lámh Dé dom' chosaint,
Slí Dé dom' tharraingt,
Sciath Dé mar dhídem dom,
Slua Dé dom' chaomhnú
(English:
I arise today, through
God’s strength to pilot me,
God’s power to sustain me,
God’s wisdom to guide me,
God’s eye to look before me,
God’s ear to hear me,
God’s word to speak for me,
God’s hand to guard me,
God’s path to go before me,
God’s shield to protect me,
God’s host to save me)
What I'm wondering about: is there a way to make some of the phrasing of the Irish here more symmetrical like it is in the English version? The structure of the first few lines, as far as I can tell, is something like "[Quality] [of God] dom [Verbal Noun]", but it diverges from that pattern in several places, like where it becomes "[Quality] [of God] ag [Verbal Noun] liom" for instance, which messes with the rhythm a bit. So for instance, would "Briathar Dé ag labhairt liom" ("God's word to speak for me") be able to be translated "Briathar Dé dom labhairt" or would that cause a problem?
Also wondering if "Éirím inniu" which appears throughout the prayer as "I arise today" should not instead be "Éirím inniu
le" to mean "I arise today
through/with" the various powers and qualities listed?
Any help is appreciated!
This is a prayer which was originally written in Old Irish. It seems strange to try to reverse translate the modern English into modern Irish (instead of from Old Irish to Modern Irish). Especially, as it's quite a liberal translation from the original Irish into English to begin with, yet the modern Irish translation from English seems very direct.
The Old Irish for this verse in particular is:
Attomriug indiu
neurt Dé dom lúamairecht.
cumachta nDé dom congbáil.
cíall nDé domimthús.
rosc nDé dom imcaisin.
clúas nDé doméistecht.
briathar nDé domerlabrai.
lám nDé domimdegail.
intech nDé domremthechtus.
sciath Dé domimdíten.
sochraiti Dé domanacul.
ar indledaib demna,
ar aslagib dualach,
ar foirmdechaib acnid,
ar cech nduine midúthracair dam
icéin, anoccus
inuathiud isochaidi.I think you'll find it's already quite symmetrical by comparison to the modern version you have.
More notably, the verb at the beginning,
Attomriug, means "I bind to myself", not "I rise" as in the English and modern Irish translations you're working with, hence, "I bind to myself today, the strength of God to guide me, etc." The idea is that the speaker is binding these things to himself for protection, like a breastplate.
I wouldn't recommend adding the conjunction
agus to the modern Irish version you have. I don't think it's necessarily wrong, just that it's not necessary, and doesn't really add anything. In the context of the verse I think it's as sensible to read without the conjunction. Consider, for example, this alternative English translation, which is closer to your Irish version:
I rise today,
God's strength guides me,
God's might upholds me,
...
...
...
etc.