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Sometimes I hear it rolled, making it sound almost like an L, in a fashion similar to spanish (Marco) or japanese (Mariko)
this is the native sound of the broad r indeed.
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Sometimes I hear it not rolled at all, like in english (Mary)
learners pronounce like that ; more and more native speakers, especially in Munster, pronounce like that under the influence of English (to me it sounds ugly and it makes Irish harder to understand...)
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And sometimes I hear a hard R, like in french (Fromage) but slightly more guttural.
never heard that pronunciation so far...
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I've read it's a difference of dialect, also that it is tradiotionally rolled but english influence made its mark and it's not rolled anymore by younger speakers, also that it just "depends"
when you listen to recordings of old speakers, the sound of the English r simply didn't exist in their Irish.
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Slender r /r´/ is a buzzy z sound in Conamara and Munster (but a y sound in Donegal).
as far as Donegal is concerned, this is oversimplified: it's mainly in Gaoth Dobhair that people use the y-sound for slender r, and it's almost only between vowels and at the end of a word. In other contexts it's pronounced like the slender r you can hear in the other areas.
Also I noticed that Gaoth Dobhair people tend to use broad r's instead of slender r's in many contexts and especially when talking to non-local people - they might be afraid to sound weird or to be hard to understand, to people who aren't used to the Gaoth Dobhair pronunciation of slender r.
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Younger Gaeltacht speakers are mimicking the school Irish anglicized accent (so as not to be ridiculed by their non-native peers) and bringing it into the home with them.
is dóigh liom go bhfuil seo fíor agus mo mhíle mallacht ar an fheiniméan sin... It makes just sound Irish wrong...
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Broad dh and gh both sound like a German uvular r (as you noted a little more gutteral that French r). (This often gets erroneously reduced to a g sound in school Irish.)
aye, it's not like the French r. The Irish broad gh/dh is pronounced more forward in the mouth, just in the place you pronounce a broad g actually. It's a g pronounced while letting the air going through instead of stopping it, as you do with a normal hard g-sound.
The sound also exists in native Spanish (sound of g between vowels), in Greek, in Scottish Gaelic of course... also in certain dialects of Breton (like mine

). It doesn't sound like the German r as I've heard and learnt it, though. The German r I know is pronounce more in the throat than the Irish gh/dh.