A suggestion -

Cuireann na rudaí a bhfeadfeadh mé a mharú beocht ionaim.

Wait for corrections, in particular spelling.

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It is recommended that you always wait for three to agree on a translation.
I speak Connemara Irish, and my input will often reflect that.
I will do an mp3 file on request for short translations.
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Ok where would the proper place to break up the tattoo so each half is on each arm?

Bumpppp

Bump arís!

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How would this sound?

Cibé rud a mharódh mé
is é an rud a ghríosaíonn mé.


Níor thaitin Nietzsche riamh liom.

I really recommend against asking for translations of this type. Literary translation is a very difficult task at the best of times, and the truth is that by the time the process is finished, you have something new and different.

IE. For a translation of a song to fit the tune, the meaning will almost always have to be altered significantly. Of course, you're not asking for it to be a song -- I realise that. However, the phrasing of the lines is what makes it possible to split the sentence across two arms. A literal translation would not offer the same easy segmentation, and splitting it to have equal length segments on either arm would not respect the natural segmentation of the Irish language.

CaoimhinnSF's translation is extremely well balanced visually, but it seems you've ruled it out because it's not quite close enough in meaning.

Bríd Mhór's suggestion is practically impossible to break in two without... well... breaking it.

You see, it's segmented like this:
Cuireann ((na rudaí a bhfeadfeadh mé a mharú)) beocht ionaim.
The bracketed bit is "the things that would kill me", and as you can see, that's one of your lines, half your sentence, right slap bang in the middle.

I suppose you could probably do what CaoimhinnSF did with his...
Na rudaí a bhfeadfeadh mé a mharú
Cuireann siad beocht ionaim.

...but there's still no translation of "feel" in there.

That's because if you want to translate the whole "make... feel" thing, you're either going to end up with 3 clauses (and you've only got two arms) or your second clause is going to be noticeably longer than the first.

Anything you get that looks right won't be the song you know -- it'll be something new. You've already explicitly refused that, and if Bríd had given you a literal translation of her translation, you would have refused that too. And we'd be here all month giving you things that you'd refuse.

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A language belongs to its native speakers, and when you speak it, you are a guest in their homes.
If you are not a good guest, you have no right to complain about receiving poor hospitality.

Very well explained NiallBeag

I like the first one that fits the best. Where he has it segmented. Is the spelling correct? As he advised? Plus just because it can't be segmented perfectly doesn't mean I can't split the sentence up evenly. So now I am asking for spelling and dramatics of the two

Cuireann ((na rudaí a bhfeadfeadh mé a mharú)) beocht ionaim. Translates to what exactly

A literal translation - The things that could kill me puts life in me.

Without the brackets !!

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___________________________________________________________

It is recommended that you always wait for three to agree on a translation.
I speak Connemara Irish, and my input will often reflect that.
I will do an mp3 file on request for short translations.
___________________________________________________________